Live life to your fullest theory

This kind of goes with the general idea of my blog. Maybe I'm looking too far into this whole thing, but how does the whole "live in the moment", "live like you're dying thing" type of thing work? I mean if you're a typical citizen, that being not a celebrity or socialite that's extremely rich and doesn't have to work and doesn't have children, how does one accomplish that?

I try to be as positive as possible & plan towards the future. Sometimes my plans don't work out as life seems to get in the way. This gets incredibly frustrating as I'm sure most people can relate to. I mean I wish I could wake up in the morning, eat a delicious (but healthy) breakfast, go for a run/skate/bike in a beautiful (and friendly) neighborhood, go to my incredibly intellectually & morally fulfilling job, come home to my clean, well decorated, paid-for home, have a fabulous (and once again healthy) dinner & be able to spend my nights & weekends having fun. Not to mention having really good relationships with my signifigant other, family, in-laws, and friends. Is this a dream or is this an acheivable reality? I mean when I break it down that simply it seems like a reality, but why does it seem so hard to reach then?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm whiny & just won't work to make my life better or if I'm just destined to have the life I have...

Another part of this that I though of is life on vacation versus regular life. Do we all really have that different of lives when we're on vacation? I'm thinking not, but its so much happier then. Is it possibly to apply those differences to our day to day life?

One last note, life on paper versus what your life truly is. I have a bad habit of comparing my life how it truly is to other people's lives on paper (noteably- MySpace & Facebook.) Basically bringing myself down because I don't have my own family (married or have kids), or having bought a home of our own, or I don't have a true career, or because I haven't really traveled post-high school, or partying till the sun comes up. It makes me feel like a failure & that I haven't done anything at all. I know this isn't the case, but its so hard to seperate the facade from reality when all you see is the facade.

Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater

So... I haven't blogged in quite a while. Wish I could say it was because of being incredibly busy working on the list. You know? Havin fun & being productive. Not quite, unfortunately.

Like I said before, December 12th I lost my full-time permanent (not working as a temp) job in Groton. The fortunate part was I had a pre-existing part-time job at Bath & Body Works in Burlington. That held us over a little bit, especially as seeing it was Christmas-time & semi-annual sale time so I got a decent amount of hours. I feel like I really busted my butt looking for a new job, but combination of the economy, and in my opinion not completing my college degree I had a hard time finding a new full-time job. At one point I was registered with twelve plus staffing agencies. I did get a temp assignment for the Citizen's Energy project from January 20th to the 28th. Citizens Energy was kind of nice because I got the feeling to a certain degree that I was a part of something good. I then worked from February 3rd to April 30th as a temp at an apartment complex in Salem. The work at the apartment complex kept me busy & I felt like I was a useful addition to their team. I then spent a very long five weeks unemployed (minus BBW) until I got a phone call to start working doing customer service for National Grid gas. I like having a job & I know I should be grateful for that. I feel like I am more than adequate at doing my job, but I do feel like I could be challenged further. I think to break it down, I need to get my butt back to college!

Our housing situation has changed dramatically as well. To make it clear I'll break it down. I was born in Hollywood, Florida. My mom, dad & I spend only a month down there until they found a home in Brooksville, Florida. I was born & raised there. Lived in the same home until I was 24. I went to the same elementary school all six years, the same middle school all three, and the same high school all four. I even went to the local community college for a few semesters. My fiance, mom, cat & I then moved up to New England. We were living with his sister for a couple of weeks until he found a job in Massachusetts. We then lived with his grandmother for about a year and a half, until we finally got our act together and saved up for our own place. We rented a cute little house of our own for about another year and half. But, then had to move back to his grandmother's house. Then for a short period of time (from April 1st to late June) we were not living at his grandmother's house, and were looking for a new place to live. We are now living in Pepperell with his dad & a roommate. Its nice as its only the four of us. The only down side is it is a distance from my two jobs. We're still working on saving for our own place (just Rich, Gato & I,) but money has been tight.

I guess I'm looking for pity from the 101 in 1001 Gods to change the end date on my 1001 days. I really haven't had a chance to do much on the list & there by lost almost 6 months aka 180 days. Wdyt?